the suite life

my first but definately not the last

2010-03-28T22:35:00.000+08:00

hi guys, i hope you all have peacefully settled back into your families.

first, retreat was awesome. the Trinity had once again filled my cup to the brim!
i must admit, i really miss retreat now. why? lets me, my mum didnt actually allow me to go and she didnt really actually not allow me to go. so you know its like yes and no and when you say you are going she will say, did i permit you? well, i went in the end and i didnt regret it. i think, the experience i received will be dear to me.

second, the highlight is; this is my first ever retreat in sfx with all the youth communities. it was an eye-opener and it also aided me as part of my vocation discernment. i feel that though we are call to different communities, we are all many part that contributed into one body! remember father bosco activity? not only we take in the pain, we also became one! we worked with each other to ease the pain on ourselves and to help our neighbor. i was the 3rd to enter the room and slowly the load increased. being at the bottom, it was the foundation and the amount of hardship i had to bare. i was in pain then. but there was ease. i related to the sufferings of Jesus. He was tortured, made to carry a heavy cross, abused when on the way to death, despised, rejected and then nailed to the cross. finally, hung under the scorching sun for 3 hours! the pain that i received pales so much in comparison to His. that gave me the energy to call on that cross. it also made me reflect on the cross i shoulder in life and the struggles in my vocation discernment. but, i was really glad that i had Simeon and Soo beside me. it made me realized that even in our struggles, even our familiars are going though struggles too.

third, my journey with zhane. i think, this is really awesome also. why? because i have never ever did spoke to anyone who is learning about the catholic faith! and throughout the days, i seems very sweet to see things from a new life and then making a final judgment for myself and to help others around. it was all good.

forth, the '94 babies. i have never ever mixed with ppl more than 14 months my junior. i dont know why but i usually clicked better with older people. but, within my community; LOG, i think we are united. that night, alex, greg, maryanne, andrew, nigel and me prayed for His grace to bring back a friend safely. that worry, that care, that love comes from who? God's powerful impact on us and our community. this reminds me of last week, i was away and missed Sim's session. he went like, KENNETH! WHERE WERE YOU? ): YOU MISSED MY SESSION! those 8 words were like WOW. it just makes me really feel that everyone is being loved and cherish in a specially unspoken way. journeying with LOG and the other youths since 2nd Sunday of advent and now entering holy week, i realized that that birth into sfx and log is significant in my life and others. coming good friday, it reminds me of my dying to myself and rising again into new life to be an instrument of God!

fifth, my group. bessie, nick, von, claudia, celestine.
it is funny that i only know 2 people! but as sharing went on, slowly i see things a larger perspective. bessie besides her tiredness held the group together. nick returned to God. von made me relate that i am not alone in many aspect of my life.
claudia cheerfulness infected me now, i have broke down the wall to be more cheerful.
celestine made me realized that in God's time, He makes all things beautiful. its a pity that the retreat was short and we didnt have much time to spent as a group. but i think from the short time we spent, it magnified me.

sixth, terence and james. i think that night, if i didnt reconcile with God, i will be a total nut. i kind of expected the ministering to be people praying for you and i concluded that it will be something else that i am quite sensitive to. but, when the thing started proper, i went for confession and i place my trust in God, i decided to be prayer for and i desired to be God's instrument. the words that flowed though terence and james resides deep within me. it seems to have found his home. it made me remember this pslam. 'like the deer that yearns; for running streams, so my soul is yearning for you my God'. after which, i went straight to the San Damiano Cross. that Cross holds a special meaning to me because was Francis of Assisi was before the Cross, he ask the Lord, ' Lord, what do you want me to do? ' like wise, i did the same thing. i am aspiring to be a franciscan friar and drawn my the Lord and the life of francis. this us my 3rd years journeying though and i have a long way more. this holy week will be one where i will be with the friar. i think God planned it all perfectly. this week, i am with the parish youth and next with the friars on my vocation journey. it all fits in nicely. though my heart desire to be you guys at sfx but, i know God want me to strike a balance in both my community life, vocation discernment life and schooling life. and i think, he picked the holy week to be the theme of my journey of discernment this year.

there is so much more to say but, i will leave it for next week.
till then, see you all.

have a great start as your embark on holy week.

Forgive, but dont forget.

2010-02-28T00:38:00.000+08:00

“Father, I can forgive, but I cannot forget”.

This is a very common lament made by many people in prayer who have experiences of being hurt, often by loved ones, and seem to come to a wall or a roadblock in their spiritual growth, even when the guilty parties have expressed contrition and sought forgiveness. To me, that one cannot forget simply indicates that the person has no sign of dementia, and is not suffering from any form of memory loss. And this is could be good.

It is a misconception that when we forgive, it means that we should automatically forget. If this is the case, there is very little true forgiveness in the world, because our history books are filled with records of past hurts, violence and hatred that has caused much suffering and turmoil in the generations before us.

It is nowhere stated in the Sacred Scriptures that we are to forget either, when we forgive. Jesus never taught that, and the very fact that as Catholics, one of our greatest symbols of God’s love for us is the crucifix, where we carry around our necks the image of a bleeding, bruised, bloodied and dying man, shows that not only should we remember, but that we NEED to remember just what true love and forgiveness is. And while bejeweled crosses, adorned with precious stones may be pretty, it doesn’t strike one as something that was once used to publicly execute and shame an innocent man who was nailed to it for our sake. No, we need to remember, and if we don’t, we become lesser people for it.

So what is forgiveness then? In a nutshell, I’d say that forgiveness is when I can look at the whole memory of what had happened in the past, and there is an ability within me to not hold this against the person or persons involved. It’s not a denial of what had happened. Denial always has a negative impact on us, and in time, it will surface and cause us new problems in different aspects of our lives. But healthy forgiveness is when I can see the landscape of what had happened, and look with new eyes at the person with whom I had that issue. I look with the eyes of compassion, and see a new possibility of living from that point on with a newness and with hope.

Perhaps an example would help. In this tiny island republic of Singapore, we have insufficient fresh water to cater to our population. To supplement our water supply, we have what is called NEWater, which is purified water. Used water undergoes stringent purification and treatment process using advanced dual-membrane (microfiltration and reverse osmosis) and ultraviolet technologies. Singapore is not the only country in the world to do this, as this is already practiced in some places in the United States for some 20 years already.

Many Singaporeans have an aversion to NEWater. They tend to only see what the water was before it was purified. So, in their minds, they see the water’s past, which in our case, is water from our sewage. There seems to be a psychological block that prevents them from looking at the purified water (which is extremely clean and pure) separate from its past. In other words, they have not ‘forgiven’ the water’s past.

But if we see the potential of this purified water from the moment of its purification, there is a lot of ‘hope’ for it. It can be made into unlimited other types of beverages, sustaining life and providing hydration, which is vital to anything living.

While I am not advocating that drinkers of NEWater always have the image of putrid and stinking sewers in their minds when they hold a bottle in their hands, it may help if we see the potential that this water has from the time its purification ended and it was bottled. That something from an almost toxic past could become good and usable for us now, must give us a newness in embracing it in its present form.

The same goes for forgiveness of others and their past. Perhaps many people harbouring a hurt past are still stuck in their ‘sewers’. To see a new potential, especially when there is sincere remorse and a heartfelt conversion in others is to get mired in an unpurified past that doesn’t give life and certainly is toxic.

I know all analogies are imperfect, and this one must count as one of them. But at the heart of it is our shared need to take in with compassion the past, present and the future of everyone with new eyes of faith. Only this will allow us to truly be people who usher in the Kingdom of God.

So, should we forgive? Certainly. But forgetting may endanger our committing the same horrors and pains to others.

(an insight from fr luke)

what is to come.

2010-02-17T22:38:00.002+08:00

the past i cant change.
the present sucks. the future is set.

i am going through a tough time. its the season of lent,
am i to carry this burden?
oh God pls help me.
i am tired.
really exhausted. studies getting the hold of me.
life and emotions are taking its toil on me.

will someone come to my aid?
i need help.

the Lord is my Shepherd and I want to follow.

2010-01-31T16:39:00.002+08:00

dear loggers, happy 5th anniversary!
the Lord Almighty is to be praised and to be lifted on high!
he has done great things for us. his abundant love he had showered upon each one of us and to our community.
throughout my journey, i have grown a lot and learnt a lot. the memories and journey are dear to my heart. they'll surely be a part of me that i will never forget.
i look forward to many years of growth with you guys as i have accepted each one of you into my life and heart.
to the sowers, thanks for making the time to come down. despite the programme you guys had. to those that werent physically there to celebrate, thanks for being there in spirit. your presence still resides within our hearts in the midst of fun we had.
the Lord is truly great. he has blessed me with a wonderful community and a beautiful bunch of brothers and sisters. i thank the Lord for his gift of love to me and my community. (:

a personal reflection, to those who attended 9am community Mass, i hope you all paid attention to father bosco's homily. but to the sowers who werent present, i would love to share this with you guys. father used the 2nd reading of today as the main highlight of him homily. he spoke about love. and he tasked all of us to a challenge. and i will humbly take up the challenge. his challenge was to go to someone you have never said i love you before or to someone you have not said i love you before. this challenge is to heal broken wounds or to make a relation between people progress. as he spoke, the spirit worked within me and i know who i need to give those 3 words to. it is someone i have never said i love you before and its someone which i feel God has tasked me to approached him. i trust in the Lord and i will take up the challenge.
next, the second reading emphasize on love.
it goes,

Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous; love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offence, and not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delight in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.

and Jesus is love too. so,

Jesus is always patient and kind; he is never jealous; Jesus is never boastful or conceited; he is never rude or selfish; he does not take offence, and not resentful. Jesus takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delight in the truth; he is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.

and Jesus taught us to love and this is my personal conviction to follow his way, and i hope all of you out there will do too (:

Kenneth is always patient and kind; he is never jealous; love is never boastful or conceited; he is never rude or selfish; he does not take offence, and not resentful. I take no pleasure in other people's sins but delight in the truth; and is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.

(Your Name) is always patient and kind; he/she is never jealous; love is never boastful or conceited; he/she is never rude or selfish; he/she does not take offence, and not resentful. I take no pleasure in other people's sins but delight in the truth; and is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.

i hope you all would hold 1 Corinthians 12:31-13:13 close to your heart, with regards to love. because love, is the spring of life.

1 Corinthians 13:13
Meanwhile these three remain: faith hope and love; and the greatest of these is love.

Peace And Goodwill to all men.

2010-01-13T21:07:00.002+08:00

welcome to 2010. my first post for 2010.
before i start on my pile of homework and some revision, hopefully, i will Praise the Almighty.

i think that my family is beginning to get better in all things. and i think God is working though all things in his hidden ways.
my faith was shaken 2 weeks back, but, my dear brethren, i am back. and i am better than before.

the Lord work marvels. Alleluia.

its been really hectic. and i am being blasted by everyone that this year is like crap. but that aside, i am focus on working hard. against all odds, i will do to the best of my ability.

God will make a way though there seems to be no way.

i acclaim the Lord as my God. He is my stronghold and mountain. in Him, i trust. He has blessed me. and is still blessing me.

i am blessed with an awesome community. i am blessed with a wonderful family. good friends, religious brother, sister, priest are all around me. Bless the Lord, my soul.

wished i could type more, but time is a constrain. however, i will keep you all posted.

i love you people and my community, God loves you too!

Romans 16 : 17-18
I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.

O tidings of comfort and joy

2009-12-26T13:14:00.002+08:00

the morn' that christ was born!
i went for midnight Mass with my community and the youths.
indeed, its tidings of comfort and joy!

God loves us so much that he became one like us. a human.
why did God came down to heaven?
it was to save us from our sins.
due to our lack of perfection, we require a saviour.
because we keep falling, Jesus is the answer to our needs.
He heals our brokenness and leads us to the way of perfection.

this christmas is extremely meaning to me.
its filled with love and affection. =D

the true meaning of christmas finally came to me. and, my faith in the Lord is increasing. i will never for the Lord's way of working within me.
it is a true and wondrous blessing from the Almighty!

Glory to God in the Highest heavens.
Peace peace to all creation.
Sing sing Hosanna Hosanna in the highest.
Blessed blessed is He who comes in the Lord's own Name.

thanks to those for the cards, affirmation, hugs and photos.
soo for being our host.
and to all who made christ birth a memorable one. =D

o come let us adore him, o come let us adore him, o come let us adore him, Christ the Lord!

James 5:11
Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.

adoration room

2009-12-23T23:29:00.003+08:00

lately i have been drawn to entering into the adoration room.
there is just this drawing there. and it feels awesome.
just sitting down there, it's really peaceful.

last time, i enter the adoration room with a drag.
but now, there's a urge to go there.

the Lord is truly present, yes he is.
there is a God.
no doubt, there is.

have faith, believe. never let once's emotion deny the holy presence of God.

Psalm 1:1-3
Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

dont judge by its cover.

2009-12-21T12:00:00.002+08:00

“Go forth, Christian soul, from this world in the name of God the almighty Father, who created you, in the name of Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, who suffered for you, in the name of the Holy Spirit, who was poured out upon you, go forth, faithful Christian. May you live in peace this day, may your home be with God in Zion, with Mary, the virgin Mother of God, with Joseph, and all the angels and saints.”

this prayer is from fr luke fong's blog.
this prayer is a prayer for those to seems to dying on their death bed.
but, this prayer is really meaningful. why?
simple reason is, death isnt mentioned.

what i feel is that, life and death doesnt exist.
only, life and eternal life exist.
death on earth is just a rite of passage. for example, from adolescence to childhood to teenage to young adult to adult and to senior.

death is just another rite of passage where we face the Lord and for eternal life.
our journey on earth may have ended, but in fact, life hasnt ended. because we continue in a better place called heave. with those who had gone before us, saints, angels, heavenly hosts, and with our God almighty!

i guess, death shouldnt be taken as something negative.
yes, we mourn. we grief. we lost our loved ones. our bother or sister. our truly beloved. however, we must take comfort that they are with the Lord.
our feelings are often blinding us. thats human nature. is alright.
but, what further prove must we have to convince ourselves? at Mass, when the wine is consecrated, it is truly the body and blood of Christ! how awesome is that?

the Spirit of the Lord work wonders. we need not doubt that.
some may speak of science. well, there are scientific evidence that the consecrated bread and wine is truly the body and blood of our most holy redeemer Lord Jesus Christ.

Nehemiah 2:17
Then said I unto them, Ye see the distress that we are in, how Jerusalem lieth waste, and the gates thereof are burned with fire; come, and let us build up the wall of Jerusaluem, that we be no more a reproach.

Gift of a Friend

2009-12-20T01:26:00.002+08:00

Someone who knows when you are lost and you’re scared.
There with you through the highs and lows.
Someone you can count one
Someone who cares
Someone who is always beside you where ever you go

AND YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Samuel (1) 19:3
And I will go out and stand beside my Father in the field where thou art, and I will commune with my Father of thee; and what I see, that I will tell thee.

penitential

2009-12-15T22:13:00.003+08:00

the song sung at gathering on sunday hold something dear to me.

as we gather may Your Spirit work within us
as we gather may we glorify Your Name
knowing well that as our hearts begin to worship
we'll be blessed because we came

indeed, we are bless because we came!
i went for penitential service this evening.
and, it's been in a long while since i last went.

in my mind, it was just scary. but, inspired by God's grace and love coupled with the encouragement of some others, i managed to pull myself together to attend the penitential service and did a good confession.

many things father paul goh said struck me.
i am glad God work through him to reach out to me.

confessions takeaways, (from Father)
- when you come for confessions, you have already reconcile with God because you took the first step.

- there is no point in punishing yourself with penance.

- meditate on God's Grace and Love.

- keep the commandments and it will keep you.

- ask the Lord for the Grace to Fear Him.

- never let your feelings get in the way of your faith.

- God is there no matter what.

- read the book of Ecclesiastes, Wisdom and Sirach.

this is the best confession i have made. it was deep down from my heart.
and i learnt something from this.
if you dare to commit the sin, confess it.
if you have no intention of admitting to it, dont commit the sin.
like they say, if you have the guts to do it, have the guts to admit it as well.

by God's own Grace, i am forgiven.
it goes for the same who had made an honest confession in the various district.
He showered us with Love and Mercy.

as we are prepared spiritually, we should keep the fire burning in our hearts as we await Christ second coming.
with the day of Christmas drawing near, we should keep in mind that being free from sin, we should always stay that way as we celebrate the birth of Jesus.
with a prue heart, we are able to prepare a room for the Lord in our hearts. just like where Jesus was laid in the sinless womb of Mary our Mother.

this Christmas will be a good one for me. for the Lord has truly touched me and showed me his Grace and Love. with his unconditional Love and faith in him, whom shall i fear?

scripture quote from confession this evening.

Psalm 1:1-6
Happy are those who reject the advice of evil people, who do not follow the example of sinners or join those who have no use for God.
Instead, they find joy in obeying the Law of the Lord,
and they study it day and night.
They are like trees that grow beside a steam, that bear fruit at the right time, and whose leaves do not dry up. They succeed in everything they do.
But eveil people are not like this at all; they are like straw that the wind blows away.
Sinners will be condemned by God and kept apart from God's own people.
The righteous are guided and protected by the Lord, but the evil are on the way to their doom.

conflicted.

2009-12-14T21:57:00.002+08:00

my feelings have been toyed. and in my life, i have been though a number of downs.
it sucks to have such feelings to pull you down.
somehow, i try to make it good myself, but i dont want to come to a point where i feel that i am living in denial with the things that are obviously affecting me.

all in all, i still trust in the Lord to make things good for me.
and i believe that , all things is possible through Christ our Lord.
i shall have faith and remain steadfast.

one great challenge now. there will be penitential service tomorrow.
up till now, i am still not confident if i am ready to face my sin and confess it.
i admit i have done things that are really errr. and i feel really guilty about.
the fact of telling a priest that to absolute my sins, i feel scared.
i really want to reconcile with myself and God to prepare for a wonderful Christmas.
like ofm friar joe nathan mention during Mass, are we ready to prepare ourselves spiritually for Christ second coming.
yes, we maybe prepared physically. deco, new clothes, presents, but. being Catholics, are our sole objective just to seek all thing materially?
i still have a few hours left, i hope ...

Micah 6:8
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

the Lord's Call.

2009-12-12T13:28:00.002+08:00

i just got the Catholic News dated Sunday, December 20, 2009.
and i came across the article on page 19, titled Vocation.

"She isn't my daughter if she becomes a nun"

i feel that this is particularly disturbing. why? the reason is simple.
if someone has the calling to be a religious, why should they oppressed?
is it wrong to be in a religious congregation? - to lay once life down to serve God and his people?
in my point of view, i see no wrong in it. in fact, i think it is an awesome deal.
why you might ask. well, when a religious answer the Lord's call, he or she commit oneself to not one, not two, but three vows.

it might be very simple seeing final profession Mass/services where they just sign their lives to God and just keep and upfront about it.
though it seems simple, it is not. given our human nature, it is not possible. but, these courages men and women, they are under the influence of the Almighty.

the three vows - chastity, poverty and obedience.
it seems like a brand on those people. but, it has a deeper meaning.
in the secular world, majority would comment negatively on this. but, seeing things from a less shallow point of view, these 3 vows are essential to do the work of God.

religious, having taken these 3 vows, are they any different from you and i?
do they have weird or any difference from people in the secular world?
in my perspective, no.
why? because those religious doesn't do things out of the ordinary. it is just the mind set of people.
the vows of a religious, helps him/her to focus on their vocation and to carry the mission of God and to bring Christ to the least. not to forget, speading the Good News of the Gospel and the promises of Christ.

1) Vow of obedience.
this vow require a religious to obey his/her superiror. they recieve orders to carry a certain mission or to be in a parish to serve the people living in a certain area.
whatever a religious has to do, they obey and do it.

in our own lives, even the most basic thing, obeying our parents. we cannot exactly do that. i know at many of times, i disobey my parents a lot to do the things i desire. picture it this way. obeying our own flesh and blood is already a challenage. talk about obeying someone you are not related to.

2) Vow of poverty.
this vow require a religious to lead a simple life and not to be lavished. it is important not to be materialistic as well. in the eyes of many, poverty means poor, no money.
that is not it. to me, it is just leading a simple life without being attached to material goods that distract them away from their vocation.
handphone, lastest IT products and car. these things in majority of the household has it.
but the thing is that, the vow of poverty assist the religious the not get attached to these gadget for their personal purpose. these gadgets assist them in their duty to serve God's people.

3) Vow of chastity.
in my opinion, this vow has been viewed narrowly. this vow is not just no sex.
this vow require a religious to have pure and clean thoughts in their actions.
when they carry out their duty, they do it with no evil thoughts, without going against the law of what is right.
ultimately, their actions are under the influence of the Almighty.

these 3 vows, enable them to be more focus to carry out their work for the Lord.
is it wrong? to me, many view that it is wrong or not normal.

many at times, we judge way too fast and not look at things from a different perspective that might give us new insights.
for me, i am open up to the Lord's call. but my family reaction isn't welcoming.

my prayer is for God's grace to let people open up their minds and hearts to see the wonder of God's calling as well as laying once life to do God's will.

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become tired of doing good; for if we do not give up, the time will come where we will reap harvest.

at dawn.

2009-12-11T08:33:00.000+08:00

i wasnt asleep at 3.30am this morning.
and i was at the study room. so i looked out the window.
looked up the sky and saw the stars, clouds and moon.
it somehow stirred a certain feeling in me, so what did i do?
i went downstairs and admire the surrounding.

the wind blew. the clouds floated.
cool air made contact with my skin.
the awesome feeling. and i went into prayer.
thanking the Lord for this great wonder.
and remembering He created all things in His likeness.

managing to spend sometime like that, made me feel at rest.
for the first time, my mind wasnt caught up with toughts that bothered me.
i was free.
i guess, many at time, we are too caught up with our own personal issues that we neglect God.
we tend to do things the way we want it to be without realising that all things are possible only through God.

Luke 14:11
For those who make themselves great will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be made great.

wonder.

2009-12-10T22:03:00.000+08:00

many at times, we dont cherish what we have around till it is too late.

and yes. i am guilty.

my dad is not well for the past few weeks. maybe i am just thinking too much. but it really scares me.(he smokes) yup, i aint close to my dad. but after all, he is my father.

and now, i am cooking some herbs for him to take so that he wont suffer that much and at least can have a goodnight sleep.

and well, for my mum's sake too. she's been married to him for 21 years now. so i am sure she worries too. but, it would be harder for my mum as she has to worry for both my brother and i.

we all have to mature faster than our 'programmed' ways.

i have learnt mine the extremely hard way. losing friends and ppl close to me. i guess, i have to stay humble and learn more.

each day we learn something new. & today, i think this is what i learnt. to cherish. (maybe a deeper sense of it.) hopefully, i am able to let other view it this way too (=

Philippians 4:4

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!